Posted on July 24, 2012
A first date is one of the most nerve-wracking aspects of dating at any age. If you are 50+ and just starting to date again after a few years or a few decades, however, the uncertainty about where to go, what to wear, and what to talk about can seem almost insurmountable.
Before the first date, you wonder whether your date will like you, whether you’ll like him or her, and how much dating etiquette has changed since the last time you were out there.
While there are no absolutes when it comes to senior dating, there are a few tried and true strategies that may help calm your nerves and increase your chances for a successful first date:
•One purpose of every first date is to decide whether you want a second one. With that in mind, plan a first date that encourages conversation and helps you get to know each other, and avoid activities like movies and plays that leave you sitting silently in the dark.
•Tailor your first date to include a common interest, hobby, or shared value, which may help you establish an immediate connection around something that has meaning for both of you.
•If you plan to have a meal on your first date, make it lunch and combine it with some fun activity so you have more things to talk about while you eat. Dinner sometimes implies more intimacy than you may be ready for on a first date, and having the whole date depend on two near-strangers sitting across from each other and making conversation can create a lot of pressure.
•If the whole idea of senior dating makes you nervous, consider making your first date a group date with friends, or participating in a group activity such as a wine tasting or charity auction.
•Be smart, be safe, and have an exit strategy. On most first dates you’re going out with someone you don’t know well, so stick to public places and tell someone you trust who you are meeting and where you will be. If you start to feel uneasy about the person you are with, then leave.
•Don’t put all your eggs in this first date basket. If the person doesn’t turn out to be Prince (or Princess) Charming, so what? You met a new person, practiced your conversation skills, and learned more about what you want (and don’t want) in a partner.
Whether you’re 16 or 65, the best way to enjoy a first date is to keep an open mind, focus on the things you have in common, and make your primary goal to simply have a good time.
Written by Sharon O’Brien, former About.com Guide
Posted by Gabriela F. Brown
Constant Companions Home Care, San Diego and S. Riverside